This post should be read in a safe environment. If you are having dark thoughts and have nowhere to turn. There are people out there who can help. call 988, text 988 A few weeks ago, I think I hit rock bottom with my depression. I woke up in the worst panic attack I have ever had. It started in my dreams, where I found myself tangled in one of my necklaces. This triggered my claustrophobia. Which had me thinking I was trapped in my own body. The only way I saw to get out o

This statement in the picture holds a lot of meaning for me. When I came out as transgender, I knew going in that not everyone would be...

I have seen this question come up a bunch: "Is it too late to transition?", "Is it too late to come out as LGBTQ+?" The people I have seen this question posed to most often are younger adults in their late teens (18-19) to early 20s. I understand that coming out is a terrifying and courageous thing to do. You get nervous and sweaty; your heart rate goes through the roof as you think of all the possible ways the conversation could go. This is where being young helps you in the

May 8th I have been thinking about my Transition lately, from where I was to where I am now. In the beginning, I was sure I was a woman. However, I was not very sure how my transition was going to go. I can now say yes, I was kind of selfish then. I was only thinking about my happiness. I really didn't know how this would affect the people in my family or my friends. I did learn very quickly who was and was not a true friend. I lost someone whom I thought of more as a brothe

May 4th It has been a few weeks since I posted a blog post. There has been a lot going on with my partner and me. We did put in a bid on the house pictured above. We found out last Wednesday, April 30th, that the owners accepted our offer. We should be able to close on June 13th. Then comes the difficult part: packing and moving. We are considering hiring movers to come in and do all the packing and moving for us. I am okay, to a point, with having someone else do all of thi

April 23 These last few weeks have me pondering about where I was, where I am now, and where I want to be. Where I was even 10 years ago, pre-transition. Trying to be someone I was failing to be. I was not truly happy, not with life as it was. I didn't see a path that was going to help. It wasn't till I started driving truck. Where I found a path that I could be happy with. Dressing while I was on the road, mainly at night, so that no one would see. It wasn't till I started w

April 13 Hello to all my sibs out there. I think today I want to talk about depression and how it affects me. Not only with my day-to-day, but with my transition. I am writing this to hopefully reach that one person or those who need to know that there is hope. There are people out there who love and support you. They may not be your biological family; they could be someone you would never expect to stand by your side, holding your hand while you cry and helping you pull

March 8th, 2025 My day was pretty uneventful. I started at about 5 a.m. CST and met my partner for breakfast around 9 a.m. CST. While I was driving this morning, I was thinking about some of the news reports I had read the day before. One was how Texas is trying to get it to where transgender people could be charged with fraud and sent to prison for 2 years and up to $10,000 in fines. They are claiming that if we are not able to have our gender marker changed on our birth ce

Shortly after starting my medical transition, I received a message from a person on a dating app. For the first couple of months, we texted each other on the app. It was becoming increasingly difficult to hold a conversation while texting, so I decided to give them my phone number. Then, we would talk on the phone almost every day for hours. We were able to talk on the phone for so long because we were both truck drivers. This went on for a few months, then we decided to meet

After coming out as transgender, I started driving with my dad. This was so I could take over hauling liquid helium containers for him. My parents suggested that I seek out a therapist to help me really figure out my dysphoria. It took a few months to find a therapist that dealt with the LGBTQ+ community. While seeing my therapist, I was not always dressing because I was driving with my dad. However, I would dress when I went to my therapist's office. I saw my therapist twice

Finally free, I am finally free!!! Well, that is what I was thinking back then. With just starting my career in truck driving I was thinking I could have all the fem clothes I wanted. The problem though is the company I had gotten my CDL with wanted me to team up with someone. Well since I was working off the tuition that the school wanted my hands were metaphorically tied. I teamed up for about six months, after that I pretty much was free to do what I wanted to do (as far

I had been working in the culinary field for a few years when I met my third and final female partner. Again, I was starting to feel a little lonely, so I started looking online at some dating apps. There was this one woman who had caught my eye. She lived a few hours away from where I lived. After taking a few months, we decided to meet. I thought we had gotten along reasonably well. We dated (the best we could for a long-distance relationship) for a few months, and then we

About six months after my second marriage was finalized, I attended culinary school. I have been in and out of the restaurant business for most of my working career. I was mainly in the back of the kitchen prepping the food or out on the line cooking. I had decided to go to school to try and either start my own restaurant or get in with a high-end place. While I was going to school, we only had class three times a week. That left a lot of time to be by myself. I was in a new

My second marriage was several years later. It was a short-lived marriage, only about a year long. Looking back on this, I never should have gotten married to this person. I think the reason I did is that I was lonely and needed companionship. There were several red flags that went up, but I chose to ignore them. For instance, she came up one weekend, and I had forgotten to hide one of my nighties and bras. They were in the laundry basket to be washed. When I got home from wo

After my divorce was finalized, I was laid off from work. Fortunately, I was able to find another job shortly afterward. About four months into this job, I noticed I was losing a bunch of weight; I thought it was because I was not eating during the work hours. That would have been fine, but I had lost 20 pounds in three weeks. I did not weigh that much, to begin with. I think I was around 135 pounds. About the fourth week, I noticed that around my belt area was starting to hu

I married a couple of years after graduating high school. This was not really because I was still trying to be the best "male" I could be. No, I got engaged because that is what "men" do when they think they have found the "ONE." We struggled, as I think most do when they are trying to go to college and run a house right out of high school. We were making do with limited funds coming in. That was until we found out she was pregnant about a year and a half after we moved in to

In High School, like many students, I had a part-time job. I worked at a buffet-style restaurant. I worked the buffet as a cook. The...

My teen years were a troubling time for me. I was trying to be the best male I could be, but I kept wanting to be a girl. Every time my...

Well, I suppose I should start when I first started to think I was different. I can remember I was about 4 years old. We were getting...

Identity: The Personal Journey of a Transgender Woman First, I need to ask, what is Identity? Identity, to me, is made up several...